By Jacqui IWU
WED, FEBRUARY 14 2018-theG&Bjournal-When life coaches talk about depression, it sounds ‘Greek’ to most Nigerians, yet hundreds of people commit suicide on a daily basis. In other words, most Nigerians are helplessly depressed but refuse to accept it. It even get worse when you come across such people and you encourage them to go and register for clinical therapy or some kind of counselling. I do not know if it is the fee they will pay or just the idea of talking to someone about their inner feelings and secrets they are avoiding or what? In the end they come off worse to the extent of committing suicide.
Elsewhere, seeking help from counsellors, clinical therapist, life coaches is not taken for granted because the value for so is understood. Depressed people go out of their way to search for help from therapists rather than sitting idle crying and wallowing in self-pity and spreading their failures and economic problems around. One thing is certain here, When you are depressed and you only worry and do nothing, your health and entire life cycle deteriorate rendering you useless.
When you hear about people being depressed or going to the extent of killing themselves, it means they have been in some kind of ugly life situations they can not handle. To such people there is no reason to continue living a normal life and their only solution is an extreme way out.
With the difficulties Nigerian face today, I see lots of people slipping into depressed mood that has made life meaningless to them so, please if you are reading and have someone struggling badly with life, pass on this message and also ask the person to hook up with me at Twitter- @jacquiworld for more help.
I am going to highlight few strategies I shared with my participants in a public speaking I had couple of months back.
The theme for that workshop was— ‘’When life decides to cripple my efforts….I am forced to excel’’
When your employer fired you…how do you survive? From all the coaching sessions I have had concerning those who are suddenly pushed out of their jobs, my experience is that most people would wish they are forever engaged working, never wishing to be set free to explore further their potentials.
Which other side am I talking about? If you felt you are so good at your job and suddenly some little mistake happens which you feel should not warrant you getting fired, it means there is a better door opened for you to be more than what you were at your previous job. Sounds tricky huh? Listen, when you get fired and all you do is to slip into a sympathy mood for weeks/months, you will never discover this new door opened for you by nature.
Every living being has a skills set or talents. Every one of us do have skills and talents hidden somewhere in us but you will never know about them until you decide to unveil them. So when you are fired from that job you feel is the greatest, this is the time to upgrade your status and look inward of you. This does not mean you will not apply for jobs where necessary but while waiting for another job, ask yourself what skills you have and can put into use.
I can’t start talking about your skills here but I am just letting you know that the hidden skills and some talents you have and never know about should be unveiled by you at this crucial moment in your life. There are life/business coaches who can help you unveil all these rich qualities in you. All you have to do is to consult with them for your therapy sessions either on one-on-one or through electronic means. You can have your coaching/counselling session on your phone-WhatsApp, skype- depending on what suits you most and at your own convenient time as well. So the excuse that you are not in the same city with a counsellor/coach does not count any more.
Again if your spouse suddenly file for Divorce or separation, how would you react to it—as a catastrophe? How would you even deal with this ….if I may ask. It does not matter what difficulty you are passing through in life, one thing is certain which neither you or I can change—‘death’…we must all die someday so, why waste the little time we have here on earth crying over something that we cannot handle? Your spouse getting tired of you does not mean that other men/women in the entire world are tired of you.
Extreme depression sets in!! Extreme depression is not what anyone could even wish for an enemy. This is the point where suicidal tendency sets in. Someone does not love you anymore, get it straight and use the remaining part of your life to do something useful. If you still love the person then it makes no sense still being in love with someone who loathes you. Build your stamina on re-arranging your life, priorities and by doing so, you will attract someone who would love you for who you are.
Death strikes at a loved one……you are wondering. How do you continue to live? Death is inevitable and must surely happen …..It does not matter how good you are in life. Someday, we all must leave this earth to somewhere we are still trying to unravel. It could be so painful losing a loved one who probably all your life provided for you in all ramifications. Now the person is gone and you are totally helpless and wondering which step to take to survive. This is also an eye opener for people who still depend on others for everything in life, when that one person that provides for you dies, you automatically die with him/her because you have no clue what to do to survive.
This is why it is vital every individual has some kind of source of income because no one can predict the tides of life. It’s great when you have loving friends and family members who enjoy helping you out. Now they are not doing this because you are in need but they just love to be part of your life and it makes them happy. When such people are no more there to help, because you have something going for you all along, you will not have problems surviving.
Depression kills so, do not pretend about it when it hits you, punch it back and have your life back. If you are not sure you are depressed and confused about what is happening to you-these are symptoms of depression- leave a message.
Jacqui IWU is a Media Communications & PR strategist|A Life &Business Coach with passion for youth and women Economic/Social Empowerment. |Twitter- |@vivantjacqui|@Jacquiworld|#talkbacktobwj